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A loose circle had formed around the gathered gangsters. Loose, because not everyone showed up, leaving very little yet very noticeable gaps in the lineup.
A certain little girl attempted to fill one of those gaps, but it was still too wide, the space around her still too noticeable. She stuck out like a really really really sore thumb. But, with it being her, who had a unique tendency to stand out as it was, her presence alone was enough to raise both questions and eyebrows.
A man, Arthur, asked, “Who the hell is this?”
Showtime.
“Yo! Mind if I disrupt- I mean interrupt?”
D grinned, mouth open, showing off her own gap. The one between her teeth.
The man was perplexed to the point of being offended. He looked across the loosely formed group and questioned the whole thing.
“Please tell me you ain’t serious with this, Mrs. Carter.”
The woman, standing across from her, at the opposite end of the not really circle, stared D down hard behind horned spectacles. D wasn’t nervous. In fact, it gave her a thrill that she craved. She couldn’t get enough.
Like bubble gum or lollipops or cotton candy or jelly donuts!
The woman, Mrs. Carter, kept staring.
“I’m very serious, Arthur, but I don’t know what this is. Or rather, who.”
D watched the woman’s movements, or the seeming lack thereof. Nothing obvious, very subtle. The slight angle of her chin. Up, eyes lowered by a fraction. Fingers tensed, grip tight on the binder she was clutching. Shoulders raised in a straight line, her back perpendicular. Poised, but there was an energy behind it. Ready to charge, needing just the exact provocation.
Everyone had a breaking point. D knew that all too well. And, after spending her smaller and small and formative years doing this, being this, D knew just how to tease it out. It was something she could intuit.
She knew now, though, to not reach for that impulse so… impulsively. If this was a year ago, she totally would have. She had learned some self-control. But not now. This was too important.
From her smaller to small years, to now.
Maybe I am growing up.
The thought freaked her out a little.
“I’m D,” D said, as though to reaffirm herself as well, “Like the letter!”
It was like a routine, by this point. A series of certain words and actions that brought out certain reactions, reactions she could use. Like playing a piano, pressing certain produced certain notes.
And, for what it was worth, D was a pretty decent musician.
She watched with a keen eye, and got exactly what she expected. Mrs. Carter and the other gangster’s guards were up, but not by much. They were wary of her, but they were underestimating, and she knew it was because of her age and stature. Nobody ever took her seriously, and she liked that. Knowing that was as comfy as a big warm sweater, or a fuzzy teddy bear.
She didn’t have one on her now, but D wished she did.
She wasn’t nervous at all.
“Reduced to nothing but.”
A dry chuckle followed after those words. A noise that grated. A sound that echoed from a not too distant past, but it haunted all the same.
Shuffling next to Mrs. Carter, Styx crept up to the circle, filling in another gap. He was slouched over, his arms hanging limp by his side. His eyes were wide, as he took everything in, darting around like he was on something. But he wasn’t on something, Styx wouldn’t be that dumb. Manic, but not dumb.
When he locked onto D, his eyes were wider, somehow, his mouth yawned to an exaggerated smile. That chuckle emanated out of him again as though it was possessing him. But, nope, it was Styx that was in control. Always.
It was something she admired about Styx. It was also something that freaked her out a lot.
He really found all of this funny.
Mrs. Carter remained as still as a statue.
“Would you know anything about this, Styx? Her?”
Styx stretched, his limbs groping and twisting through the air around him like the legs of a spider. Feeling for the webs he had spun, long ago.
With an odd pitch that spiked up, Styx’s laughter crescendoed, then stopped. A shrill noise that unnerved everyone in the circle, D excepted, maybe Mrs. Carter, too. But for D’s part, it was a song she had heard before.
Styx finally spoke.
“It’s a surprise to me, but very welcome one. She’s free to be here.”
Styx had spoken. No one would dare challenge him on that.
Which gave D the chance for her to rub it in. Styx totally gave that to her.
She’d take it though.
“Yup, I’m with the Fangs,” D said. “Hello again!”
Another one from the loose circle said their piece. A woman, this time. Hayden.
“Never seen her before. Weren’t there other Fangs? What happened to them?”
That last question in particular almost pierced through D. Almost. She plastered a goofy looking expression on her face. Not really a frown, but she opened her mouth and showed off the gap in her tooth again. Sulking in a way that only a kid could.
Wearing the expression like a mask.
D answered.
“Same thing that happened to D’Angelo, or Edward, Gary or Inez.”
That answer rippled through the others in a similar way, hitting them, but they weren’t as good at hiding it. Worried looks were cast, concern falling over everyone, oppressive like the dark that surrounded them.
Everyone except Mrs. Carter and Styx.
“No, no! I refuse to fucking believe that this little girl is coming here to announce the end times. Not for a fucking second!”
“Nothing is ending, Cassius. You will be fine.”
Mrs. Carter sounded so cool. Calm.
Cassius sounded rather uncollected when he bursted out again.
“Don’t give me that crap! How could you look at the situation we’re in and not be even a little concerned? Shit, I mean- Inez is dead, Gary is dead! Fuckin’ D’Angelo! And now we can put those two new fuckers on that list!”
With each name bellowed, their respective absence among the group was made painfully and painstakingly clear. Little gaps, but they were there. And for D in particular, the gap at each side of her felt as wide as a canyon and as deep as a cliff. There was no avoiding the feeling it gave her. Right there, a knot in her tummy.
“They had names,” D said, mimicking Mrs. Carter’s tone of voice. “Lawrence and Wendy.”
“Cassius is right, if I may be so bold.” That had come from Hayden. “Too much is happening, and too quickly at that. Several of our own are dead. We couldn’t even rendezvous in our usual location. We have to move here, to a place hardly more elevated than a garbage lot. I’m not asking you to lie to us, Mrs. Carter, but at least pretend that some alarms need to be raised.”
“And where the hell is Mister?” Brian asked. “This ain’t important enough for him?”
Mrs. Carter didn’t crack, however, her composure still composed, maybe even detached. The only thing alarming was how much Styx seemed to enjoy watching the scene unfold.
“What would you say then, Hayden, if I did indulge in your wishes for panic? Would you feel more at ease if I succumbed to fear like all of you seem to have? I have no time for such things. I’d much rather hold this meeting to achieve something tangible. If you would all prefer a therapy session, please, do so at your own time. But not mine.”
No one seemed to have any objections to that. No one said anything.
“Good,” Mrs. Carter then said, as though she was pleased with that response, or lack thereof. She then continued, and took back control of the space.
“With that being said, I do understand where you concerns are coming from. They are legitimate, but not cause for panic. As long as you stay here, you are safe. None of you have any obligation to stay here, however, and you are permitted to come and go and see to your respective gang’s activities. Just take the usual precautions, do not be followed. Does that sound agreeable?”
No objections. There were nods all over.
“And, as for Mister, he is well aware of the situation, and hopes that we can bring this to a satisfying resolution. Now, shall we have a proper discussion, then?”
“Please,” someone said. It wasn’t a voice within the circle.
Everyone turned. D did, too, following the act.
From the dark, two figures emerged. Covered completely, even wearing masks. A raven and a clown.
They approached the circle, moving like they belonged. They didn’t.
Everyone who wasn’t D or Styx or Mrs. Carter reacted with alarm. Tensed up.
“Who the fuck are you?” Arthur growled.
The masked pair stopped. The raven raised her hands. A gesture, before things could heat up.
“We are Machiavélique,” one of them said. Came from the raven.
“And how the fuck did you get in here?”
“That shouldn’t be a concern.”
“Well I fucking think it should be. I thought this place was supposed to be cool.”
“It is,” Mrs. Carter stressed. She looked over the masked pair. “Consider yourselves fortunate that I haven’t had you immediately shot for trespassing. Explain yourselves.”
“You came here for a discussion. We would like to participate. We believe our interests may align.”
Mrs. Carter was silent. A sign for Machiavélique to continue. The raven continued.
“As you all are aware, there have been some… complications that have popped up in the last few days.”
“Understatement of the fucking century,” Arthur said. “The city is on fucking fire, and, because this bears repeating, nearly half of us are fucking dead because of-”
“I’d advise you to check your math again, Arthur,” Mrs. Carter said.
“That’s one way to put it,” Machiavélique said, “But it carries the appropriate weight. Complications. The riots all over the city, and V.”
“V?” Forest asked.
“The Bluemoon,” Machiavélique corrected. The clown.
From the gestures and ticks, D observed as a chill looped through the circle.
“Well then,” Forest said. It was all he could say.
“The problems aren’t separate from one another, but let’s peel away the layers a bit. First, the riots. They’re tearing into the city, they’re growing in magnitude, and they’re believed to be targeted. Several of you have reported attacks on your own bases and buffer zones, is that correct?”
Everyone nodded, D included.
“In regards to your own equipment, manpower, your capacity to fight back, this shouldn’t be an issue, but with the very… politically charged nature of them, it makes the situation quite, again, complicated. Volatile. They are a minority, but they are a loud minority, and they are, at the end of the day, civilians. When they hit, they think they’re fighting against a world that has wronged them. A system. If you hit back, it shows the world that they’re right. That the system exists and needs to be addressed. And that will mean a larger response, and a brighter spotlight, on all of you.”
“Meaning?” Forest asked.
“Meaning that, once you go out to defend yourself, you also put yourself out there as a problem that needs solving. What those riots are really about exists on a deeper, fundamental level, a black thread that has stitched itself through the fabric of society itself. It can’t truly be cut or washed out. However, through either military intervention, or increased media coverage, the second any one of you gets pinned as a potential scapegoat, it’s over. Everyone that isn’t a part of your industry will be against it, and they will not be satisfied until you’re liquidated of all of your assets. The underlying problem would still persist for these people, but for that fleeting, pitiful moment, they will be satisfied. We assume that you’d all be against that.”
“What do you suggest we do, then?”
Mrs. Carter asked.
Everyone waited for Machiavélique’s answer. Even D was curious… at how Machiavélique would word it.
Machiavélique, the raven, raised her head, then her hand. A victory sign was made with her fingers.
“Layer two. V.”
Those chills again. D liked watching them squirm. It was funny.
“During the chaos of all the riots, she’s been targeting you, too. In the past few days, she’s already taken out a decent chunk of this group, here.”
Machiavélique didn’t have to mention their names again. Their lack of presence was felt. The lack at D’s sides.
Names she couldn’t bear saying again.
“The super villain thinks she’s being clever, taking advantage of the widespread panic she’s partly a cause of, but she doesn’t realize that she’s putting herself out in the open, too. You can’t really fight mass hysteria, but you can take down one person, even if they have powers. Prop V up to be the scapegoat, take her out, and the fires will quell.”
“And you truly believe that will work?” Mrs. Carter questioned, “That it will be that easy?”
“Might not be easy, but it is simple. If we all work together, I think we can accomplish something very special.”
The gangsters conversed with one another. It wasn’t an immediate rejection.
Mrs. Carter continued to stare at Machiavélique.
They’re doing well, D noted. It was kind of scary.
Forest had a question.
“Why should I believe any of this? Why should we believe you? I left Las Estrellas because of a similar incident, and that was damn near twenty five years ago. Now it’s happening all over again, except now you have these masked fools running around, taking bigger, messier shits. I heard some other fool in a mask is leading the riots. A gang going after other gangs.”
“The Flood, Dong-Yul being their leader. From what I’ve heard, he’d have the motive.”
Forest spread his arms, as if to say ‘I hecking told you so.’ D thought that in her head.
“But Dong-Yul is human. He’s only human. If he gets taken out, it won’t change anything. You’ll need to go after someone bigger. A monster. V. She is the beast you need to slay.”
“And you know how to slay this beast?” Hayden asked.
“We have a plan,” Machiavélique answered.
“Why? You two come out of nowhere, making this proposition. I don’t think you’re in a gang. So what’s your stake in this?”
Machiavélique paused, considering.
“No stake. Just… it’s just. Now, will y’all consider helping me?”
D observed with a keen eye. They were all considering it. Mrs. Carter, for her part, was allowing the discussion to continue, and Styx was having the time of his life. About to crack up. Ready to hear the great punchline of it all.
D didn’t find it funny, though, but she didn’t have a choice but to consider it, and go along with it. She didn’t have a choice at all.
D was no longer free.
—
“Break it down, I guess. Reduce it, right down to the letter.”
“Okay.”
Doris followed the instructions, right down to the letter. She was good at that, good at listening. And she liked that he liked that she was so good at following instructions.
Dad ruffled her hair, leaving it messy.
“Very good. You need anything else?”
Doris shook her head, both as a gesture and also to get her long hair out of her face.
“Nuh uh. I think I’ll be okay.”
“That’s my girl. I’ll be over in the living room. If you need me, just holler.”
“Okay!” Doris hollered.
That prompted Dad to ruffle her hair again, leaving it even more messy.
Giggling, Doris had to put the homework on pause to get some bunched up hair out of her eyes. Her pencil went flat on the table, her hands and her attention elsewhere. It took her some time, because she was so uncoordinated, and her hair was so long. It went past her lower back, as long as it was nutty brown.
She finally got everything sorted out, pushed back, and she was free from her tangle to get back to the homework.
Simplifying functions. Easy stuff.
Doris saw a lot triangles and X’s and tiny twos that liked to hang out in the upper right of the letters. Divided and separated into fractions. Doris knew fractions, she learned that in Ms. Gibbons’ class.
She went to work, doing it like how Dad showed her. She was just following after the steps, but it still came easy to her, she could feel that it was all coming together, everything either being broken down or reduced. She just had to keep plugging at it.
Crossing out X’s, canceling stuff that looked the same. Taking out those tiny twos when she didn’t need them anymore.
And… there. Just a two and a ‘X’ standing together like buddies.
She found the derivative.
Down to the letter!
It was easy to feel proud of herself. Dad said this kind of thing was hard, but she did it just like that. Well, she needed instructions, but even Dad admitted that he didn’t really understand this stuff, he was just reading words off of the page. But she still figured it out, and she liked to think that Dad had a hand in that.
Smacking her pencil down again, a loud clack, Doris pushed her chair away from the table. Her chair rolled back.
“Dad!” Doris hollered.
She didn’t hear an answer. Weird.
He said he’d be in the living room, right?
“Dad?”
Again, nothing.
Doris hopped out of the chair, gathering her pencil, paper, and textbook. She hugged them into her arms and stalked her way out of the kitchen.
Before she could step out on her own, a heavy hand guided her.
“Come on little one, this way.”
“Hey!”
A bit of fear rose within her, but that was nipped in the bud, after having realized who it was.
“Dad!”
She could only go for one word responses.
“Go to your room and stay in there for now.” Her dad took a pause. “And no, you’re not in trouble.”
Doris was rushed down a hall to her room, her bare feet barely keeping up with her dad’s longer strides.
“Why?”
“Nothing to worry about,” Dad said, but with the way he was acting, how he was hurrying, it made her worry anyways.
“But-”
They got to her room. Her dad opened it for her, nudging Doris inside. Not a push, but the implication was there. She felt it on her back.
Doris spun around, her things shaking in her arms.
“I finished your homework!” Doris said, louder than she had meant it to.
Dad smiled. It was something in his eyes, the corners of them. A little sad.
“That’s my girl. Thank you. Now just stay here. Go read something.”
Dad closed the door before Doris could get even another word in.
Frowning, Doris turned around and looked at her room.
It was a simple room, but Doris and Dad had always lived by simple means, and there was nothing bad about that.
The walls were a soft yellow, the sun as it filtered through the shutters made it brighter. A bed and some stuff animals in one corner, a dresser with maybe five different combinations of outfits in another. No closet in here.
Along one wall was a shelf, filled with books of different types. Dictionaries in different languages, encyclopedias, biographies of prominent anarchists, and coloring books. Not a lot of fiction stuff, Dad didn’t want her head to be filled with ‘fantasy crap.’ Doris didn’t really get it, but she wouldn’t complain over what they didn’t have. She knew better.
She had more books than clothes, and she was fine with that. More than fine, really.
Doris moved along to the shelf, setting her things there. Pencil, paper, and textbook. Her dad’s textbook.
It was Dad’s idea, but she wanted to help where and when she was able. Doris was more than happy to do it.
Dad had just went back to school, a local community college. Studying… Doris wasn’t sure exactly, but Dad needed to go through the core subjects first. That included stuff like math, stuff Dad wasn’t so good at.
Doris was a willing learner, and a fast one at that. So Dad let her in on it. Whatever he couldn’t wrap his head around, he’d try to teach her and have her take a crack at it. And then, he would get a good grade and pass and Doris would get an early and free college education.
It was a good idea, and it made sense to Doris. She just wondered if Dad was learning anything.
She picked up voices on the other side of the door.
This apartment was her home, but it was more like a tenement, to borrow from one of her dictionaries. The walls were thin, and someone didn’t have to be very loud to be heard. Doris was well aware of that.
Moving back to the door, she sat with her own back resting on it. She listened.
“… from his office. Nothing big, a quick meeting. How are you holding up, Carl?”
She didn’t know that voice. A man, maybe around Dad’s age, but it was hard to tell from voice alone.
“I’ve been doing everything you’ve asked. Twiddling my thumbs.”
That was her dad. Carl.
“You’ve been calm during this whole ordeal. That’s good. That’s, um, you’re doing a great job, I can say that much.”
She heard good, she heard great. That had to be a good thing, right? Maybe they were talking about planning a surprise birthday party for Doris or something.
Doris reconsidered. But her birthday wasn’t for another few months.
“I don’t like how you’re talking there, though.”
“I… it’s not good, Carl.”
Oh no. Not good wasn’t good. It was not good.
She heard her dad make a noise. Something like a moan or a groan.
“Damn- come on, man, I thought you said you’d help me out, here!”
Dad tried to keep his voice low, but it didn’t work.
“Like I told you the first time, Carl, I’m doing what I can, but what I can’t do is promise you anything. I talked with the company that’s looking to buy the building, Tate and Mono Construction. They’re pretty adamant about getting this property, and several others, for their planned, shall I say, aggressive expansion. And, this was supposed to be between me and their lawyers, but they are putting together a deal, a payout to anyone who is willing to leave by a certain date.”
“Payout? How much?”
“Ten thousand.”
“Each?”
Doris didn’t hear the answer, but she definitely heard the response to that.
“I can’t take that! That’s bull- that’s peanuts to the peanuts I’m making now! If I take that, where else am I gonna go? I- We can’t afford to live anywhere else.”
“And I understand that, Carl, but there’s only so much I can do. I’d love to take you on as a client and go after these bastards, but there’s the whole matter of…”
“I can’t afford you?” Dad asked.
“As you are, the firm I represent doesn’t see a need to take you on. Me? You can always come to me.”
“I’m coming to you now, please. If I have to beg, then I’ll beg.”
“There’s no need, but this is all I have for you. Any more and it becomes a thing, and you know how it is. My firm is rather selective with its clients, and… well, the more I talk the more I’ll demoralize you, so I’ll stop right there.”
There was a long pause. Doris almost thought that she had lost her hearing.
Then the man spoke again.
“I’m not officially your legal counsel, so I won’t advise to take the money, but as a friend, I’d think about it.”
“My daughter won’t have a home-”
“Think about it. In the meantime I can start looking for some other places for you and Doris. Public housing. The programs haven’t been properly funded for some time but I’ve been getting to know the people who run it. They’re good folk, they’ll set you two up and make you comfortable.”
Another lengthy pause.
“That still doesn’t give me a lot of time. And, it’s not like I want to stay here, but, I can’t go anywhere else, man. You know what I do, what I did. I’m trying to get out of that game, but I leave now they’ll… I just need some time. And money, but if I have time I can get money, and I want to do it the right way, do it clean. I’m just… I want to do things right by her, cause I know I ain’t do squat for her mother.”
Her mother. Doris felt a breeze run through her. A large and noticeable hole that she had grown to live with, but sometimes, she’d feel that cold, how it touched the edges. She shivered.
Dad continued to plead. Beg.
“Please, man, I’m not going to ask you for money but please just buy me some time.”
A third, much longer pause. She really thought she went deaf that time.
“I’ll tell you what,” the man then said, “Something about those lawyers at Tate and Mono, they were serious about securing this spot for them. I don’t know why, no offense Carl, but it isn’t exactly prime location for a large overseas company, looking to dig some roots into American soil.”
“Thanks.”
“What I meant was, Tate and Mono are desperate to get their footing in Stephenville. I can only guess as to why, so I’ll have to do some more digging. But, their lawyers did briefly mention that they were looking into some other buildings in the area as well, buildings my firm’s clients happen to own. I’ll keep an eye on this, and if they try to make a move on another building, and it lines up, I can encourage them to take action, and your testimony will help when it comes time to that.”
“You’d do that?”
“I’ll try. Until then, just sit still, twiddle your thumbs for a bit longer. I’ll get you the time you need. No promises, though.”
“Ah god, thank you, seriously. Thank you, Th-”
The door cracked and bent off the hinge. The door, the whole apartment, was old and rickety, and Doris had leaned on it for too long.
She fell back into the hallway, making a dumb sounding grunt as she did so.
Hurrying, Doris jumped back onto her feet, her hands going to the door to fix it. Shake the hinges back into place so she could close it, but that only made more noise. Loud, so super duper obvious noise.
“Doris?”
She froze.
Turning to look down the hall, she saw her dad, staring back at her. He wasn’t mad, but he was confused, maybe a little embarrassed.
She saw the man standing behind him.
Tall, wearing a suit. Handsome, fit. Dark hair, slicked back. He looked nice. The opposite of Dad. Except the nice part. Dad was nice, too.
But looking at that man, Doris felt her face get all warm. Definitely more than a little embarrassed.
She forgot about the door. She ran back into her room, diving onto her bed, her tiny arms being greeted by fuzzy ones. She hugged a huge teddy bear. The only thing she had could come close to filling that hole that had always been there.
Doris hugged it tight, eyes shut just as heard.
Still though, she couldn’t help but listen.
“That her?”
“It is.”
“Cute kid. Hey, if she wants to make a new friend, I know someone who would love to get to know her.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Sure, why not? It might make my next visit less depressing, depending on how things go. And if anyone deserves some good, it should be her, right?”
“Right, exactly.”
Doris only hugged the bear tighter.
She wasn’t quite sure what they were talking about, she didn’t understand it. She got that last part, though, that she might make a new friend. Or someone closer than friends. Like family.
It was hard for her to get along with the other kids in class, and she didn’t know why. Maybe it was because she was too short, or they didn’t read the same books as her. But maybe someone new would like her, someone different.
Doris wasn’t so worried anymore. In fact, she was thinking of some encyclopedias to recommend right now.
—
The old but grand building stood tall in the distance. A hangar in an airstrip, once passed between corporations, it was now owned a single, sole, private entity. In any case, it was away from the city. it was secluded, it was safe.
Even then, D still felt like they’d be fish in a barrel.
Them, not me.
Get far enough out of the city, the sprawling cityscape would give way to something more sparse, rolling hills and long stretches of road. The hangar on the very edge of that. Far enough to escape the heat, but the smoke was still very visible from the rearview mirror.
D drove down the long road. She was by herself. She had been used to that for some time now, but, ever since she returned to Stephenville, she became very busy. That meant meeting new people, making new friends. Even new family. Not a lot of time to be on her own, anymore.
But, for the moment, for this drive, she was alone. A brief respite.
Time alone, time to think.
The van sped along, speeding, really. D wasn’t concerned over any cops or other drivers. It was that late, or it was that early, depending how one considered it. It was a weird time. It was a weird time for everybody.
D took a glance at the mirror, checking the road behind her. The city was but a small dot in the back. It glowed, though, stinging if she looked at it for too long.
Her eyes stung.
She blinked away coming tears. Dangerous, being on the road. Doubly so if her mask cracked during the meeting. She’d have to get a grip on herself, now. D was good at that, and being alone helped, but it had gotten harder, since she came back.
Everything had gotten harder since came back.
D could remember a time when it was easy, when it was fun. When it was all about doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. Pranks and just scraping by to do more pranks. And if she fell or failed, it wouldn’t matter, because nothing did. No one would have missed her.
Now, it sort of did kind of mattered. There was people she missed, now, so the inverse had to be true. Now, if she fell, the descent was slowed, the inevitable crash hurting all the more.
No longer instantaneous.
Don’t think of their names. Don’t even say them.
In the instant that thought flashed in her mind, a light flashed behind her.
D checked the mirror.
A pair of lights. Bright. They hadn’t been there before.
Not a cop. No color. Just white.
Blinking. Hazard lights. Signaling.
D looked ahead, and saw a tree off to the side of the highway. Secluded, safe.
The van skipped as it changed terrain. In the back, a pile of teddy bears fell out of their seats. Tires had to work harder to climb up the slight incline, dirt kicking and sliding out under the rubber, but she managed to get up there.
On her tail, the lights followed.
D put the van in park, turning her hazard lights on for a second.
The other car’s lights got cut. Then D’s.
She hopped out of the van. She was able to see the car now. A teal Honda.
Without breaking a stride, D walked, calm, over to the tree. The hangar, the meeting place, was still way over there.
D turned. She didn’t want to think about that now.
Leaning against the tree, she watched doors opened on each side of the teal car. Two figures emerged.
They approached, walking in step with one another.
The moonlight was dim, but D could see their faces. Or rather, she couldn’t. They were already wearing their masks. One more closely resembled a human face, with colors and shapes painted across it like a clown. The other looked like a raven with more eyes than it needed.
D wasn’t perturbed. Just a little cold.
“Ça fait longtemps, dis donc,” D said, lively. Any other negative emotion was kept locked down, it wouldn’t be allowed out, kept below her choker.
Neither replied.
“Quoi de neuf?” D tried.
The clown and the raven stopped. They stood in a triangle.
D and Machiavélique.
“If you have to ask, then you’re not taking this seriously.”
Quothed the raven.
D shrugged. Acting cool, staying cool.
“I’m taking this very serious. For real.”
If any of those eyes could react, they would all be squinting at her. They remained wide and open. All-seeing, but not all-knowing. That was what D was for.
“Is that it?” Machiavélique asked. The clown half. “The huge building building over there?”
There was only one huge building around.
“Yup yup! Meeting’s moved to the outskirts. Precautions. You can imagine why.”
D would have punctuated that with a laugh or giggle, but she didn’t want to push it. A simple crack, or if she got the delivery wrong, would have given away everything.
Getting a hold of herself. The real test would be in there.
“God damn,” the clown said. “This is getting out of fucking hand.”
“It’s been out of hand for a long time now,” the raven said. “But that’s what we’re here for, to take it back. To set things right.”
“Be prepared for it to get a heck of a lot worse right before it gets better,” D said. “That’s how stuff like this usually goes. That’s how everything goes, always.”
“We’re ready,” the raven said, answering for both halves of Machiavélique. “You came alone?”
“I did. I thought Sarah might try to come, since she was there for the other meetings, but she dipped, instead. Didn’t like how things were going. What the other Fangs wanted to do.”
“So it’s really just you now?”
“It really just is.”
“That doesn’t scare you?”
It was the clown that asked her.
D shrugged again, exaggerating it on purpose.
“Nah. What does scare me is the responsibility. I was used to staying on the side, doing the fun stuff for the gang, but now I have a bunch of underlings who they have to take orders from. And while I like them a bunch, I know they don’t like me. They prefer me on the side, and I work better from there, honestly. I don’t belong on the stage. I’m more like the stagehand, I rig things.”
“You won’t be on stage for long,” the raven said. “And you shouldn’t have to worry about the other Fangs. Play these next few moves right, this should be over very soon.”
D thought about the prospect of that. Reaching endgame, even if Machiavélique didn’t like to think of it as that. A game.
Yet there were moves to make.
“My Fangs are already down, so if you can manage to get everyone in there to work together, then you might be right,” D said. She looked up, gauged the position of the moon, its light dancing between the gaps in the leaves. “Let’s get going, everyone else should be there by now, and I don’t like to keep Styx waiting. Really don’t like to. Leave your car here, and I’ll sneak you in with the van. I stuffed like the biggest pile of teddy bears in the back, so you can hide among all of them if they decide to do a search through.”
“You and your bears,” the raven said.
D grinned, gap showing. That was genuine.
“Yeah, let’s go,” the clown said. “I’m shaking as it is, and it’s not because it’s cold.”
“Let’s,” the raven replied, and that word got them all to move. They went back, all heading to D’s van. A new van. The old one with some sentiment value had been sacrificed. A worthy cover.
D felt something well up in her throat, under her choker. Pressure boiling, punching against a lid. She knew she had to relieve some of it, or she might burst at the wrong time.
She spoke, only for the raven to hear.
“You say I don’t need to worry about the Fangs, but I quite like them. I like those two, too. Liked.”
“I know you do,” the raven said. “I also know that you recognize that they cannot be allowed to continue. Her especially. We take her down, and this madness ends.”
Or you finally get your petty, selfish revenge.
But D managed to keep that thought down, below the choker. She knew better than to talk back to an elder. Besides, D was still here, she was still helping.
And that choked her up inside.
Tugging her choker, relieving some of that pressure, D replied with only a soft, “D’accord.”
—
“Nor… Nordisk, no disc family book, what?”
The older girl inspected the book with a mild curiosity, but the expression on her face was mostly confusion.
“Nordisk familjebok,” Doris said, without the trace of an accent. “It’s an encyclopedia from Sweden. That one is the Uggleupplagan, or the owl edition, because there’s an owl on the cover.”
The older girl ran her hand across the cover. She never cracked it open, though, instead sliding it right back into the shelf. Her hand floated through the other options, ready to pick out a new one like fruit.
“You don’t have any book series or anything,” the older girl said, a little disappointed.
Doris pointed, her arm and finger fully straight. “Noooo! There in the corner! The complete history of motorcycles, from the Reitwagen to the right now!”
The older girl laughed.
“Noooo,” she said back, imitating Doris. “I’m talking about book books, with characters and stories. Things like that.”
“Oh,” Doris said, a little disappointed. “My dad doesn’t want me to read those kind of books. Book books.”
Book book books.
“Why not?”
“I dunno. He says I should read to learn so that’s why we have all these.” Doris motioned across her shelves.
“That’s crap, you can learn from anything you read. Say, would he get mad if I got you something, as a gift?”
As a gift? Doris thought about it.
“I don’t think he’d get mad. He also says you should never not accept a gift.”
“Cool.” The older girl smiled. “I’ll bring something next time.”
“Next time?”
That smile grew brighter. “Sure.”
Doris squeezed her fists, shaking them a little. This girl just got here, and she was already talking about a next time. That made Doris super duper excited.
With even more awe in her eyes, Doris watched as the girl perused her humble library and its offerings.
The girl was older than her, as Doris kept noting, and while it was only by a fistful of years, the older girl already looked so much more mature than her. Taller, her darkish blonde hair done up, her outfit more stylish than Doris had ever seen in a magazine or TV.
She looked cool, and she seemed cool because she was nice. Doris appreciated that.
“What kind of books do you like?” Doris asked.
“I like… um,” the older girl took out something and skimmed the pages. A French dictionary. She stopped at a page and gave the book to Doris, leaving a finger on the thing.
“Those kind,” she said.
Doris followed to where her finger pointed. She read the word with ease.
“What’s noir?” The dictionary definition by itself didn’t make any sense.
“Crime stories. Pulp fiction. Cops and robbers and detectives and the like.”
“Oh. Cool.”
Doris knew what those things were but she didn’t see the appeal in them.
“My dad is a lawyer so it’s like the same thing. Well, not actually but I still like it.”
“Oh. But that is cool. Like actually.”
Doris didn’t want to be misconstrued.
“Thanks,” the older girl said, a funny tone. Like she meant it, but she was also joking somehow. It was weird.
“Why do you like it?” Doris asked. She really wanted to know more about her.
The older girl leaned a bit, eyes to the ceiling. Thinking.
“Why? That’s a weird question.”
“Is it?”
“Kidding. I’ve just never been probed on why I like a thing, before. Not weird, just different.”
Not weird. Different.
“Why do I like them? Uh… I dunno, I like bad guys when their just desserts. But, I guess, in those kinds of stories the main character isn’t usually such a great person, either.”
“So what happens when there aren’t any good guys?”
The older girl put some serious thought into it.
“In that case, you just have to go with the lesser of two evils.”
The lesser of two evils.
“So you like it when the bad guy is beat? Or the bad bad guy?”
“Worse than beat. When they’re beat so bad they can’t run away and do more bad.”
“Oh,” Doris said.
“Anyways, let’s not get into that,” the girl said. She took the book back and set it into its proper place on the shelf.
“Why?”
“It’s depressing, and I’m not about to mess up a little kid I just met.”
“Okay,” Doris said, accepting that answer. “But promise when you come back you’ll bring me a book you like.”
“Hmmm. I shouldn’t make any promises, but sure.”
Doris made little fists again.
“For now though,” the older girl said, “Wanna play a game?”
“Yeah!”
Crawling a few feet across the floor, she reached over for a small purse. She pulled out a tablet.
“Um, do you know how to play chess?”
“Yeah!”
The older girl tapped on the screen, setting the game up, and then placed it on the floor between them.
Doris hadn’t gotten a lot of chances to use a device like this before, her family never had one, but she figured it out fast.
The older girl went first. She was white, then it was Doris’ turn.
Pieces started moving around. They talked as they played.
“So, uh…”
“Try to remember it, will you? Name’s-”
“Can I call you Big Sis?”
A pause.
“That’s another weird question.”
“Is it?”
“Kidding again. Um, alright, why not?”
Yes, Doris thought.
“Big Sis. Your dad is a lawyer?” Doris asked. Pawn to C5.
“Yes ma’am,” was the answer. Knight to F3.
“Is he going to help my dad?” Knight to C6.
“As much as he can, I guess.” Pawn to D4. “Do you know what he needs help with?”
Pawn over to D4. Pawn taking pawn. Knight to D4. Knight taking pawn.
“No,” Doris said, down. “I’m scared that he needs help because he’s a bad guy.”
“Why would you say that? Do you think he’s a bad guy?”
“No,” Doris said.
Pawn to G6. Bishop to E3. Bishop to G7. Pawn to C4.
“I know we just met, so it might not mean anything, but, if my dad is willing to help yours, then he can’t be such a bad guy.”
“Okay,” Doris said.
“Those are just stories, they’re not like real life.”
“Okay.”
More pieces moved. Pieces taken.
“Not bad,” Big Sis said.
“I want to help him but I don’t know how.”
The words blurted out of her mouth.
She couldn’t stop thinking about it, though. Dad and her dad were out there, in the living room, talking about matters that Doris couldn’t fully understand. It was grown up stuff. But Doris could understand that Dad got really stressed, that he lost lots of sleep and wouldn’t be able to finish his homework by himself. Dad got sad a lot, and that made Doris sad. Kids and adults could understand that feeling.
Doris wanted to help Dad like how her dad was, but she didn’t know how.
Big Sis’ turn. Rook to F5.
“Hey,” she said. “You’re a kid, so you shouldn’t worry about it so much. But hey, I say that, but I worry about my dad, too.”
“How?”
“He really wants to get this… your whole situation straightened out, and he hates that he isn’t in the right position to make the right moves. He talks about this with my mom after dinner. He thinks I can’t hear him but I do. My dad’s the type to give it his all to his work, so when something doesn’t work out…”
Big Sis paused. Doris was quiet too.
It was Doris’ turn. Pawn to rook. F5.
Big Sis’s turn again. Bishop to F7.
“… he gets frustrated.”
Doris couldn’t quite place the feeling in the air with a word, but it was probably not what either of them intended for this playdate.
Doris was stuck. On what to say and on what move to make. Her king was stuck in a corner.
Doris tried, though.
“Maybe, if we can have fun today, would that be enough for them?”
Queen taking pawn. B2.
She looked at Big Sis.
Big Sis smiled.
“That could work.”
Then, she made her move. Bishop to F8.
Doris let her mouth open so long it got dry.
Check and mate.
Big Sis smiled even wider. Doris knew the word for that one for sure. Smug.
Doris smiled back.
—
“Who are you talking to?”
D was worried. It was a genuine concern. No smiling here.
Wendy had her arms flat on the desk in a vain attempt to cover up something, but D could see how the table bent inward, like there was a crack down the middle. Wendy was never very good at hiding things. Not at all.
But this was different. This was concerning.
Wendy was talking to someone, but D didn’t remember leaving anyone else in the room with her. And she sounded mad.
Clutching her teddy bear, D took stock of the office. Right. No one else in here.
No. Wait. No one else in here. That wasn’t right. That was so very wrong.
Wendy stared at D, and it was almost like looking back at the abyss. There was simply nothing within those pools of wide blackness.
Her mouth dropped open, and an hollow sound echoed out.
“Huh?”
It wasn’t even a word.
D was good at hiding what she felt, deep down. She could keep it from sounding out when she spoke, disguising it as something else. Chipper. Hyper. Nothing would go above the choker she wore.
Crying was different. That was real, and it fit, made sense for this situation.
But now, a certain emotion threatened to bubble up and burst out of her mouth. One she didn’t want to show. Fear.
Had to suppress it when she asked again.
“Who are you talking to?”
The lights never seemed more harsh and oppressive, the glare catching Wendy’s lenses and glazing over the eyes themselves.
Then, Wendy moved her head slow, almost like how an old person would, and they had forgotten where they were or how they got there. Her arms, resting on the desk, had relaxed.
“Isabella,” Wendy said, looking off to some far distance, somewhere D couldn’t see. “She’s right there.”
D looked. But, no. Try as she might, the corner, the walls, the ceiling. Nothing there.
She was scared to report that.
D didn’t risk it. Stayed quiet.
But that only made Wendy more dazed.
“You alright?”
D wasn’t sure if Wendy was talking to her or not.
But she didn’t answer regardless.
Wendy closed her eyes, then opened them again. A slow blink?
“D?”
So much was happening, so much had happened. D was reeling from one thing, already. Lawrence was dead. She wasn’t prepared for this.
“Yeah?” she asked, getting ready to take a step backwards, to the hall. She already regretted coming back in here.
“You… alright?”
Wendy’s speech slurred there a bit.
This… D couldn’t save this.
She couldn’t bear to answer. She couldn’t say.
D bit her tongue.
Wendy broke her stare from D, and looked into the distant nothingness again.
“It’s not up to me, we have to come to a decision together.”
D only hugged the bear tighter. If it could breathe, she was strangling it.
She still couldn’t say anything.
Wendy looked back at D, and blinked again. Blinked some more. And blinked. Blink blink blink.
D was scared. But she couldn’t say that.
“Isabella asked you something.”
A knot went up into D’s throat.
Have to say something.
D nodded, glancing to a vague direction within the room. Leaning back.
Choking, D said, “I’ll have to get to back on you with that… Isabella.”
Wendy motioned for D. “Hey-”
An arm was lifted off the desk, and there was nothing to hold it together anymore. The desk was split into two, dropping into place and making a thud.
But it might as well have been a crash.
D leaped, despite herself, and like an animal that hunted for its food, Wendy didn’t respond well to that.
Wendy jumped up, too, away from the collapsed desk. Her head and eyes darted around, searching for something, hunting for it, until the gradual realization came down like the setting sun. That nothing was there.
And then something rose. Something much darker.
D couldn’t stick around to find out.
She bolted out of the room.
Down the hall, a corner, a corner, then-
The quick panic made her temporarily lost. Dark. Couldn’t see.
No delay, but fear had her. Delay.
Pause. Panic.
Turn.
Run.
So much running.
Crash.
Disoriented, D shook herself off. She found herself on the floor, on top of Sarah. It was Sarah.
“Sarah,” she said. Glad to see her.
She was on the floor too, having been knocked into by D. She grunted.
“You alright?”
“Please don’t ask me that, we need to get out of here.”
“What-”
What followed wasn’t Wendy herself, but her howl, the moon just outside.
D picked her and Sarah up, rushing her.
“We need to get everyone out of here.”
Sarah snapped to action, but she still wasn’t sure of what was happening. Then again, neither did D.
But it almost didn’t matter. It immediate goal was simple enough to understand.
Leave.
Both getting to their feet, they ran together down a hall. D let Sarah take the front, because she was older and because she was faster overall.
The howl grew in both intensity and volume, seeming to bounce off the cold steel walls around them. Imprisoned by metal and sound. More crashes and bangs.
“… going on?”
Sarah yelled out maybe less than half a question, but D got the meaning.
“I don’t know, Vivi’s having another episode!”
“Again?”
More howls and crashing answered that for her. Louder. Closer.
“There isn’t anything we can do for her?” Sarah asked.
“For her? That’ll have to wait. Now? Gotta-”
D could have sworn she heard metal snap.
“Go!” D finished.
They ran, and D’s legs were already hurting. The Redhouse had been blown up only two hours ago, and now she was fearing for her life again. Wendy carried her to safety that time, now they were running from her.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
The doors.
Bursted open.
“Every-”
D couldn’t finish the word.
Wood splintered and cracked and fell apart. Somewhere above her.
She couldn’t even begin to consider how, but Wendy had gotten out another way, crawling out from somewhere that led back to the main area of the church. A sizable hole was left in a wall above where the priest would have sat, dirt and debris dropping down.
D looked, and saw the moonlight frame the girl. More shadows than anything else. The outline vaguely human.
The vague outline that was supposed to be her new big sis, and Sarah’s new partner, leapt from her post and into the crowd. Her fangs met her Fangs.
Chaos ensued. More than D had ever seen or caused.
Everyone rushed to get out of there seats and aisle, spilling out to the sides, trying to find an exit. Screaming things too rude for D to repeat.
This wasn’t good.
She wasn’t considering that these were her own men. She was going through them, taking them down, one by one by one by one. She would leap into the air, landing on top of them. D lost visual on them as they fell behind one of the wooden seats.
She’s going to tear them apart.
And we led her right to them.
D had to come up with something. Couldn’t let this last any longer.
Too dark, too crazy in here. Her voice was too small to direct them to proper exits.
D took a quick scan of the church. Wendy’s base. Probably not her base anymore.
“Don’t go into the crowd yet!” D yelled to Sarah, “Stay out of the way.”
“But Tone-”
“Stay out of the way!”
D shoved the teddy bear into Sarah’s arms and ran.
Over to the other end of the church. Exactly where D told Sarah not to go.
The crowd was dispersing, being cut down to size. D couldn’t make out the scope of the destruction. Just screams and people bigger than her running for their lives. It was hard to squeeze through, but she had to move.
Too much was happening to the Fangs, one after another. The riots starting at Wellport, and then Lawrence… they couldn’t even give him a proper burial. And now this. Wendy snapping and lashing out at the nearest things around her.
So much pressure had been building up, and now it was blowing up.
D couldn’t let the Fangs fall apart. She still needed them.
Had to keep it together. For the endgame.
Someone knocked into D. She would have fallen over, if she hadn’t knocked into someone else. She pushed and kept going.
Another super loud sound. Shots. People were trying to shoot their way out now.
Or at her.
Keep running keep running keep running.
There. She could reach it now.
On a wall in a small pocket by where the choir would play. A panel that controlled the sound equipment.
D went right to work crossing wires and plugging things in. Power still ran through here. She could use it.
She heard a static click of a speaker turning on.
Spinning around, she searched for a mic. There, on a chair. It was dusty and old but it would work.
She grabbed for it, fumbled with the wire, then yelled.
“Exits to the side, not just the front!”
The roar of the crowd dampened at the sudden sound, but there was no clear response. D did see, however, Fangs start directing themselves to where D had indicated. The chaos was still there, but it was beginning to thin out.
But Wendy was still there, too.
Blood and splatter arced through the air. D wasn’t able to count how many of her own teeth Wendy was pulling out.
I have to stop her.
D yelled again.
“Vivi!”
A head popped up. Tilted and bent and crazed and covered in blood.
There were no words. Just anger and aggression.
D clapped her hand against the mic, making another loud sound. She tapped it.
The speakers were at the head of the church. Less people there. If D could direct it- her-
Wendy, Vivi, Sis–
It jumped, soaring through the air, towards the front of the church.
D was almost disappointed at how easy that was. But that wasn’t Wendy right now. Something else had taken over.
Shots followed after Wendy, missing, but they kept trying. They kept shooting at their own Voss.
Wendy landed on top of the altar, on all fours. She stumbled and staggered when the occasional stray bullet tagged her, but she didn’t fall.
She didn’t go after D, just the sound of her voice, coming from somewhere else. All D had to do was keep Wendy away from the rest. Then, how to get the heck out of here.
Shots continued to zip by. Most of them missed. But not all of them were aiming for her directly.
Some of the Fangs were working together, now, shooting above Wendy, what was overhead. And what was overhead was a crucifix, held suspended in the air by old cables.
One stray bullet wouldn’t do. Several hitting the mark could. And then it did.
“No!”
D’s scream reverberated throughout the whole church, then swallowed by the crash. Nails to teeth.
She saw how the sudden weight tore through her new big sister. A beam of wood caught her at the shoulder, severing the arm. Crossing her, cutting her, the weight sliced the limb.
It-
D recalled a conversation with Wendy. What had happened in the Lunar Hotel against Granon. Lawrence saw the aftermath there. She had seen it for herself, too, when they visited Braham Barn on a rainy day.
A spiral of destruction.
Then, now, D finally was able to witness the leading suspect.
A burst of mass and blood. Black and slick and huge. Lengthy, it stretched and twisted of fibers and muscles. Sinew.
Obsidian tendrils whipped around in a circle, taking out everything in its path. The crucifix had its turn to be cut in two, and many more pieces.
Long and powerful, the tendrils sprouted from the place where her arm was supposed to be. They had reach.
Spinning out of control, they sliced and slashed the poor unfortunates who tried to take the side exits D had pointed out. Some still made it out, some were able to turn back, the rest weren’t able to do either.
Lucky bullets hit a long black target. It was like steel. Bounced off.
Just more destruction. A spiral of it.
Moving on its own volition. This was that something else.
The screams spun around D. It was a blur and a rush.
Then, the whirlwind stopped, the debris allowed to settle in place.
It happened fast. Or, it took long for D to realize that it was over.
From behind a chair in the choir section, D climbed back up to her feet. She didn’t even remember ducking for cover.
A church was in disarray. People picking each other up. Less than before. Some got out. But not everyone did.
Wall, ceiling, wall, floor, wall, ceiling, broken window. D could follow a path of destruction, of self and otherwise. But she wasn’t here anymore.
Horror show. Horrible.
D walked to the altar. Sarah was there, standing up, by the broken wood and metal and marble. She was still holding the teddy bear.
No one was at the altar. No arm, but D was certain it had been lobbed off. She found a torn piece of cloth in the wreckage. A sleeve.
Sarah was speechless, all words robbed from her. D was just as broke now, too. But she’d need the words soon, because it was time to make that call. That move.
The queen had moved into position. The beginning of the endgame.
—
Doris was scared, and she couldn’t do anything.
Scared for herself, scared for Dad.
A voice taunted on the opposite side of the door, across the hall. Menacing.
“Should have taken the money right then and there, Carl man. You see, those good people need this property. For good reasons. Good for my business.”
“Please, don’t!”
“And your testimony put a stop to that. You and your lawyer friend. That’s not ace.”
“God, please!”
“No, Carl, no deities here. I could take you to them, though.”
“Stop!”
She tried to cover her ears with her teddy bear.
Tried, but the walls were thin, Doris heard every struggle, every strained scream. Her dad’s. The other voice was like nails on a chalkboard.
Blocking her hearing didn’t work, her only line of defense now was staying under her bed.
“Shh, shh, it’s okay, don’t move. Here, here. When you go see the doctor for this, tell them you took a trip down the stairs as you were moving out of here.”
“No, no, stop, please, no-”
Dad scream was so loud it scared her. But it was the laughter over it that terrified her.
It was all so sudden. Doris couldn’t even remember what she was doing before it happened. Probably something mundane. Probably reading the newest book her big sister gave her.
Dad’s descended to a whimper. Doris couldn’t hear him anymore.
She heard nails on a chalkboard, though.
“Search the rest of the apartment. Take anything they don’t need. Lighten the load for when they leave.”
Footsteps. Up and down the hall. Things breaking.
Hinges squeaking.
The footsteps were closer now. In her room.
Boots walked to the foot of the bed, stopping there. Unmoving for a time.
Then, they turned, but instead of walking away, rusty bed springs bent and creaked together. They were sitting on the bed, right on top of her.
“Hi.”
Doris kept every emotion and word in her throat.
“What’s your name?”
No escape. Stuck here. No choice.
She looked at the man’s boots. Boots with sharp things coming out the bottom of them.
“Doris…”
“Hi Doris, I’m Sticks.”
“Sticks?”
“Like the river. Anything I can get you? Thirsty?”
Salty tears were already streaming down her face. She wasn’t in need for water.
“Styx, did you hurt my dad?”
“I did. He wouldn’t listen otherwise.”
“Are you going to hurt me?”
“Not up to me. Offer still stands.”
Doris didn’t, couldn’t get another word out, even though her throat was dry.
“Well,” Styx said, “Just so you know, the offer will always stand. Always. No matter what. If you need me, for anything, just come and find me, and we’ll figure something out. And in fact, I insist. Please. Do me that favor, from you to me.”
He then chuckled.
Doris didn’t really get it, at all. She was still too scared to connect any thoughts.
“Why are you doing this?”
That was the only question she could think of, her confusion like a haze in her mind.
“Why? Because I can. I can do whatever I please. I didn’t have to do this, but I felt like it this time. Seems to me like it was worth it.”
“So you’re a bad guy?”
Sticks, Styx paused.
Dumb question. Stupid. Stupid. But she wasn’t really thinking.
“Bad?” Styx asked back, “I do what I want in a system that allows me that freedom. I’m free, in every sense of word and existence. Is that so bad?”
Doris didn’t have an answer for that.
“Tell me, Doris, do you feel free here?”
Through the haze, Doris thought about it. Here, with Dad, doing his homework, playing with big sis whenever came over, she was content, hardly sad, but free? Within these walls? Maybe not. But that had never been a detriment, something that Doris complained about, under her breath.
“No,” Doris answered.
“Oh wow! Doris! You should really try it sometime! Most people go their whole lives, letting themselves get shackled to things. But true freedom is liberating, it’s honest, it’s real. And that, my Doris, is a very good thing.”
Somewhere deep in the core of her, where she wasn’t or would ever be conscious of, those words struck like a bell, and rang throughout the rest of her being.
She sounded, “Oh.”
“I’d best get going then. Remember, offer. Favor. See you then.”
The bed springs retracted to their neutral positions, creaking along the way. Styx’s boots walked their owner out of her room.
Her heart was in her throat. Pounding. That sensation reached her head.
She’d always wanted to help Dad. She even thought she was helping by playing with her big sis, having fun, being happy. But Dad still got hurt. She couldn’t do anything at all.
Her heart was pounding so hard it was breaking. That sensation matched what was happening in her mind.
It didn’t work. Nothing she had tried worked. Now, those feelings of wanting to help that broken whimpering man kept her down. Very much like shackles.
Freedom didn’t sound so bad.
—
The van had slammed into a sudden stop, and D’s bones were rattling. She couldn’t even shake it off, because of how hard the impact thrummed through her body.
Nothing broken, so go me. Yay.
D still felt as if her atoms were splitting apart though.
Testing, she moved an arm, and found that she could. A huge relief, that she was able to move over some of the stuffed teddy bears. Stuffed with stuff. Made for a decent cushion.
Her head rattled, and so did her thoughts. She took a second to collect them, remember what just happened.
Oh, right. She was being chased. A car chase, except she was driving a van. And she was being chased by a taxicab, of all things.
And then someone climbed out onto the top of the taxi while it was speeding down the street, she definitely remembered that. It was like a stunt from a movie.
Then they jumped over onto her van.
D did what she could to shake them off, but their grip was like steel. Impossible.
Then a crash happened, somehow, and D forced the van to a halt.
Cracks ran across the windshield like a web. Hard to see through, but she could still drive with it like that. It’d just be really really hard.
Rearview. The taxi was there, lights on. No movement.
Before D could check the windshield again, the door to her side flung open.
Middle of the road, but D didn’t crash into another vehicle. Not even the taxi. She was too good of a driver for that.
Something else had stopped her, someone.
A person crashed her van to a skidding stop.
That person.
Shorter than D had expected, but still taller than her. Covered from head to toe, even the face was hidden behind a mask.
A red phantom. Not a blue moon, but the phenomenon was just as rare.
It has to be you.
Their head was tilted as they inspected the van’s interior. The reaction was expected, everything was. Staking out the factory, waiting. The chase, the run-around, the van and the teddy bears, all to throw them off and make them not suspect a thing. Her.
My new big sister.
All D could do was smile, big and wide. Goofy, but only because she was so excited.
“Yo!”
—
“Dad says you’re moving out soon.”
Doris moved a bishop. No word.
“He also said you can sleep over in my room in the meantime, while he helps your dad find a new place. I’m totally cool with that, by the way. I don’t have to keep bringing my board and pieces here all the time.”
A rook. Still no word.
“Do you, do you wanna sleep over at my place?”
Pawn. Doris said nothing when she let a pawn go.
“Hey, you listening? You’re not even playing-”
Wordless, D only replied with chess moves. Putting her heart and thoughts into each one. Her intent. Things she couldn’t bear to say, but had every sense to follow through. She hoped her sister would understand.
She did. Replying with counters, responding by the certain placement of a certain piece. A developing language, spoken only on the board, the message only fully fleshed out by the final position of the remaining pieces.
Doris had sacrificed her black queen early in the game for an opening. A risky move, but it played out well in the long run. Queen’s gambit.
Checkmate.
Doris had it. With but her king and bishop left, and putting as much distance between the pieces as possible, she was able to finally beat her big sister.
She won. She’d be free. She almost wished she wouldn’t be.
Her eyes were hot, wet in the corners, her throat locked up again.
Words failed her big sister, too, because it was too late. Nothing she could do or say would stop her now.
—
“Got your message, sis.”
D sat atop of an impressive height of teddy bears, almost like a throne. Looking down. Her smile was gapped.
Three of them total. Two people at the bottom. One response.
“You ran away from family but you’re still calling me that?”
“All of the fun but none of the work. It’s great!”
She had paused. Looking up and down the pile again.
“A lot of bears. How heavy is the weight?”
“Enough,” D said, “These gang leaders need better number crunchers. I’d offer my services, but… it’s work.”
“Katy, this is crazy.”
The other girl spoke up. Maria, her sister introduced her as. A new big?
No, she doesn’t seem into the idea.
How disappointing.
Maria was ignored.
“Doris,” her sister called out, “Get down here!”
She complied. She’d only be allowed to tease her for so long.
Slipping out, D slid down the pile. The friction on her legs was warm and fuzzy.
She reached the bottom and fixed her skirt. It had been a minute since she last saw her sister. They had all gotten taller.
“I think you’re asking for someone else,” D said, “But… mais je divague.”
“Here.”
D cupped her hands. Something dropped into it.
A black queen.
D started tossing it up into the air, catching it. Playing with it.
“Who is it?”
“I don’t know who it is exactly, but I know the name it’s using. Alexis Barnett.”
“Alexis. Ah-leck-sis.”
D giggled.
“Keep an eye on her for me. Doesn’t matter how. Follow her, befriend her. Be her personal bodyguard for all I care.”
Maria spoke, “You’re seriously just a kid. Katy, she’s just a kid. Do you know what you’re asking of her?”
“That’s all I need for now. Give me constant updates. Don’t let her go too far.”
“Can’t promise that last part,” D said.
“Then if she does, we’ll go from there. Just be my eyes and ears.”
“Sounds like a lot of work. Responsibility. What’s in it for me?”
Her older sister gave D a look.
“You’ll have someone new to play with.”
D shivered when she heard that, starting from the very bottom of her spine, shooting up.
Spinning the chess piece between her fingers, D grinned, excited and silly. She didn’t have to say any more.
—
“Doris.”
Knock.
“Doris?”
Knock knock.
“Got some math problems for you. They’re a little out of my league. Want to take a crack at it?”
Nothing.
Nothing.
—
Her mouth was full, her tummy fuller.
D for donuts.
The car spun wildly out of control, music blasting from loud speakers and open windows. Hard to hear anything else, except when the back parts collided into the other cars in the lot. She’d skid a bit, then she’d kick the engine back into full gear.
Spin spin spin.
A loud and distinct blare. Police.
D let the car collide into another to get to a stop.
Music down, windows up halfway. She waited.
The officer approached the car. Driver’s side.
“Do I have to tell you why-”
He lost his remaining words. She was good at that.
“Yo!” D said, giving the office a full smile, showing all her teeth. Bits of jelly dripped out a corner of her mouth.
The officer looked so stunned, and his huge mustache made him look so funny. She’d never had an uncle, but this guy kind of looked like one.
Before he was able to find those words again, D spoke up first.
“Mind if I practice my driving here? I’m still getting the hang out it. Better yet, how about a race!”
D stood up from her seat, stomping on the gas.
The car tore through the parking lot, leaving the cop and his car behind in head start.
The window was half open. She felt the wind in her hair as it flew around. Free.
—
Finally.
It was time.
From one life to the next.
Doris stood at the edge of the hall. Her room behind her. Nothing but the clothes on her back, and her favorite teddy bear.
She hadn’t packed anything else. There was nothing to bring.
She was supposed to go to school today. She instead waited at the corner of the bus stop, and waited some more. The bus left without her.
Dad should be at work by now, thirty minutes late after having to hobble there in crutches. A while to get there, a while to get back.
Time alone, time to think.
This was it. A hurdle to step over, and then there was no coming back here.
Doris started walking.
The hall, where the walls were etched in crayon but Dad never got mad. The living room, where they would sit on the couch and watch public access television, or run around the rickety coffee table in a game of tag.
The kitchen, where she would sit and do her homework as fast as possible so she could move on to Dad’s.
The apartment was mostly empty, now, everything had been packed and ready to go. The plan was for them to move into the project housing by the evening. Mr. Thompson would come and pick them up and take them there.
That was their plan. But she had other plans.
Doris went to a drawer, and drew out a big knife.
Silent, she moved over the dining table. Where she’d do their homework. Where she tried to help and make her Dad happy. Where, even if she got every problem right, there was one she wasn’t ever able to solve.
And she was done solving problems.
Frustrated, she kicked one of the legs, and her foot hurt. Feeling worse, she pushed the table around until it fell over, and she pushed it some more until she got it halfway across the living room.
Kick. Kick. Kick.
Doris was useless, Doris couldn’t do anything. She wasn’t free at all.
But I will be.
Her arms seemingly moved on their own as she brought the knife to the underside of the table, carving into it. The table was old, bought secondhand or thirdhand from somewhere. Other people before her had left their mark. Most of them were mean messages. But Doris wasn’t writing something mean, it was something true.
She poured what was left of her heart and self into the blade tip, leaving them there, leaving it here, within these walls.
She got up to inspect her work, pushing her wild hair out of her face. No good. She’d have to get it cut.
The inscription, the epitaph.
Doris is here.
Doris would stay here, like she always did. Trapped. And now, she was free to go.
And she knew just who to see first.
D turned around and never looked back.
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